The thing called shame after the fact, is just embarrassment. If you want more connection in your life you need to turn up your vulnerability. That thought relaxes us, makes us gentler, kinder to ourselves and the people around us. Because we do live in a really vulnerable world. I could not believe I had pledged allegiance to research, where our job — you know, the definition of research is to control and predict, to study phenomena for the explicit reason to control and predict. . I'm not thin enough, rich enough, beautiful enough, smart enough, promoted enough.
However, once a traumatic event unfolds or an addict or even a non-addict experiences a trigger, or something that reminds them of their original feelings of unworthiness, individuals tend to fall back on their addictions or behaviors, relying even more on their numbing effects. And so here's what I found. The problem is — and I learned this from the research — that you cannot selectively numb emotion. But I want to be able to make them not messy. So I had a manila folder, and I had a Sharpie, and I was like, what am I going to call this research? And so I thought, you know what, this is the career for me, because I am interested in some messy topics.
Also shame has a very salutory effect where it prevents a professional doing wrong. Our vulnerability with God creates a connection. Let me tell you what we think about children. Am I alone in struggling with vulnerability? We should not be embarrassed about making mistakes. This idea of, in order for connection to happen, we have to allow ourselves to be seen, really seen.
I'm going to have a couple of beers and a banana nut muffin. Card number provided by sinemia was rejected. A way to discharge pain and discomfort. And it did, and it didn't. They can not got enough confidence from their work or social relationship. We pretend that what we do doesn't have an effect on people.
She then spend 6 years on decoding the causes of vulnerability. So many people think that they have to get their act together to connect with God. And so I thought, this is my chance to beat it back with my measuring stick. I learnt as much about my life from the research participants as anyone else. And in her office she has a ribbon organiser nailed to the wall: more than 30 different colours and patterns and widths of ribbon to choose from.
Can I be this fierce about this? The thing that underpinned shame was excruciating vulnerability — this idea that of in order for connection to happen, we have to allow ourselves to be seen, really seen. She loses me a bit here. So I had a manila folder, and I had a Sharpie, and I was like, what am I going to call this research? So when we numb those, we numb joy, we numb gratitude, we numb happiness. So I was very excited about this. A way to discharge pain and discomfort.
We pretend like what we're doing doesn't have a huge impact on other people. As I had heard it earlier in the shame interviewing. Why do we struggle with it so much? I have a slight office supply addiction, but that's another talk. Use these 7 Brene Brown quotes to dare greatly in your life. I need more of these and less of these. Brené Brown studies human connection — our ability to empathize, belong, and love.
And then, we are miserable, and we are looking for purpose and meaning, and then we feel vulnerable, so then we have a couple of beers and a banana nut muffin. And so I thought, you know what, this is the career for me, because I am interested in some messy topics. So what I did is I took all of the interviews where I saw worthiness, where I saw people living that way, and just looked at those. You can't numb those hard feelings without numbing the other affects, our emotions. The only people who don't experience shame have no capacity for human empathy or connection. I would say to companies, this is not our first rodeo, people.