He replied that he would never ask me to give up anything. And being married to a criminal might negatively affect her and her career, and it will cost money in court if he gets caught. Which certainly isn't someone who I'd desire a relationship with. Apparently, he managed to find a dealer or a fellow smoker and is smoking everynight after work, just as he used to. Someone that likes to smoke is someone that likes to drink wine. Personally, I would not leave someone over a drug problem unless the drug was harder meth, crack, coke, heroin, et al and leading them to harm me or my daughter.
Now, before this happened, I was in a terrible anxious state of mind that he would again lie to me and brake a promise. I finally called him on it. You can still have a life of your own, and he deserves one, too. She would smoke weed everyday but eventually quit after her grandmothers intervention. We could construct elaborate narratives about the unstoppable beast of addiction and the darkness in the pit of the human soul, or we could look at the situation with less imagination and more logic. I still wish Ian would give up pot completely, and he still wishes I didn't wish that, but that's the reality of marriage. But time and time again he tells me I deserve someone who truly loves me, and I thought I had that.
If he is an occasional smoker then leave it be. What is smoking 2x per week? I know how you feel. I still dont want too. As I mentioned above I see it in the way a glass of wine or bourbon after work most days helps me relax. I had suspicions but every time I questioned him, he would lie and I would believe him. I met him after coming off a divorce where the money and assets were mine previously, but I had to give up more than half of them to the previous freeloader. He said I should accept him for who he is instead of trying to change him.
I know it is insecure of me to think so, but he has lied to me so many times that I just can't help it. It worked for a while, but he still slipped up every now and then. Just becareful and get the help and counseling right away. If so, then the ability to cut back would annoy me. He has said before that he wants to have the ability to choose whether he smokes or not and not have me dictate it. Hopefully, I will have good news to report in the future. When my girlfriend first told me about her marijuana use, I thought I could deal with it and I did to some extent but when she started smoking it in her home when I visited it made me feel very uncomfortable.
For me, this is great because I turn into a bit of a couch potato. Holly Counts Holly Counts, Psy. After a few months I decided to go back home and study, as I left home just after graduating school and had no degree. But I could get that image out of my head quickly if I met a functioning professional who did it daily. Anyway, I really thought I was the only one. The relationship has to be cared for. I would try one more time to explan to your husband why it bothers you and how much it does.
I am so relieved to know I am not alone. Fast forward a month and he was smoking up to five times a week. Facing the emotional hurt empties the shame from the soul. All he does is talk about it. He now sneaks out to buy his pot and tells me he is going elsewhere.
An addiction is an addication and should be dealt with as an addiction. We have already made long term plans and our relationship is serious. You need to clarify your feelings and then have a conversation. Such an well written piece. Ik I need help, but idk what will work. That is really all you can do. Your husband is just being who he is.
I was a pot smoker for a very, very long time 14-44 and I can tell you it does make your wife feel better and be able to bear what may come, however, the high is only temporarily, it's very expensive and illegal. It becomes a heck of a lot easier to try something else or lie about something else once you've gotten away with it the first time. Wendy is right, she needs to make a better argument to her husband. The most healthy thing you could do for yourself is to remove yourself from this situation. If he tells you the truth, you are disappointed and he feels like a failure.
Honestly picture yourself in years from now and ask yourself if youd be happy in this same situation? Self-medication is the worst prescription anyone can do to themselves. She claims she uses it to cope with her own emotional pain and issues surrounding obesity and stuff with her dead father. We have tried to discuss it rationally, but I shut down in frustration during the conversations. But it has simply never been a part of the relationship that the two of us have been cultivating; that is, the does not play a role in our day-to-day lives at all. It would last me and my boyfriend about a week of smoking a couple times a day because we were worthless potheads. But some how he started smoking black and milds and once I got on him about those then he started smoking the e cig and got back on marijuana. However, you are married now and I think you and your husband are at an impasse on this issue.
It is much, much easier to quit before children than after children. Like do you feel that he is not putting in enough effort at home, in the marriage, etc? I told him that I would never date someone who smokes weed, does any kind of drugs, or smokes cigarettes. Is it because you want kids and want him to be able to stop before you have a baby? He is good man, he's non violent, he's a good dad, and a good husband. You don't want a husband who smokes. I see that i am not only one with this problem and i still didn´t find any positively ended story… But maybe they are not sheering. I come from an 11 yr relationship with an alcoholic,pot smoking partner.