Friend: What are you, 5? Someday, you might actually say something intelligent. Bad idea in your case. Because your days are numbered! All sources of information are listed in our Acknowledgement page. Ding, hey did anyone hear that? You always bring me so much joy—as soon as you leave the room. Which way did you come in? I was at the zoo. Or did your neck just throw up? You have your entire life to be a jerk. I think that was the elevator because you're not on my level! Rather than kicking yourself later when you think of something clever you should have said, keep a few witty insults and comebacks at the ready, just in case.
She hit my arm trying to move me but I said what I had to and she moved away. Photoplasty winner gets 10,000 pennies; image macro winner gets 20,000! I pick up books like you pick up sweets! Your mother left here at 9 this morning… Leave me alone! If ignorance is bliss, you must be the happiest person on the planet. This usually occurs within nerdy groups of people, much like in The Big Bang Theory. × Ad Blocker Detected We've noticed you're currently running ad blocking software. If you cannot see the entire article, we would appreciate if you would deactivate your ad blocker and refresh the page before continuing to browse. Now you are just the opposite.
Thank you for the Bullshit sandwich, but I'm full. You're just mad that your dad's pussy is pinker than yours. He believes in bringing about positive change to the world through good-natured humor and innovative technology. Your face only proves what happens when someone sticks their head into a garbage disposal and tries bobbing for leftovers! The only thing offending me right now is your face. She moved me over to the side to take my place in line, giving the excuse that she just went to the bathroom. Thanks for helping me understand that.
I dreamed I was you. Does the new one work now? Here are some classic 'Yo Mamma' one liners for you. You really can't go wrong with these one liners. Comebacks are a rare and fleeting thing, as most of us will only think of the perfect retort to someone hours after they've actually insulted us. Then why not share them with your friends? It must have been a long, lonely journey. Whenever we hang out, I remember that God really does have a sense of humor.
Because that was way too much information!. I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again. Looks like you fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down! The information should not be used as a substitute for consultation with professional advisers. You just have bad luck at thinking. Because you are not making any cents! I was caught selling ice. Sometimes when you are hanging with your friends, they might start messing with you just for the sake of having fun.
Were you born on the highway? Did someone leave your cage open? Was that comment meant to offend me? Posted by Posted in, Post navigation The information contained in this website is for general guidance on matters of interest only and is provided with the understanding that the authors and publishers are not engaged in rendering any professional advice and services. That's why we're honoring these 31 people and their amazing, random acts of sarcasm. A: The back of my hand. Related Links: a b c d e This post has been created by Roman Marshanski, the founder of this site. Now I have a much lower opinion of you.
I want to throw you out the window and make you regret what you said. That is where most accidents happen. Your ass must be pretty jealous of all the shit that comes out of your mouth. Small Guy: That's why your mom's breath is so minty. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.
Everybody enjoys a good laugh, but nobody wants to be the reason for that. I am going to let karma fuck you up. If you've ever seen a perfect captured on media, please add it to our list — and vote for your favorites as well! Do yourself a favor and ignore anyone who tells you to be yourself. I could eat a bowl of alphabet soup and shit out a smarter statement than whatever you just said. Our readers dove head first into Google and came out with some of the most awesome comebacks from all of history. You are obnoxious and arrogant. Guy: That's what she said! There are some remarkably dumb people in this world.
When the lifeguard wasn't watching? It takes a lot of skill to create a sarcastic quip or comeback on the spot. Remember when I asked for your opinion? Guy: 5 inches deep in your mom! I'm sorry, I was ignoring you. Must have been a long and lonely journey. Does the new one work any better? Arm yourself Ever wanted to be the comic who always has a comeback for everything? The solution for this is to make a quick evaluation of whether what was said was truly offensive and you need mean comebacks, or maybe it was just a witty joke. It is trying to access its file with good phrases, but the process seems to be as if looking for a needle in a haystack. The contents of this site are available for free thanks to the contributions of our sponsors.
Sarcastic comebacks come in handy any time someone is behaving in a particularly annoying way. How do you get it to curl out of your nostrils like that? You were dragged through dumb-ass forest. Never mind, you won't get it. Then why are you acting like you know everything? You might just find one. You were like me when I was a kid — a douchebag. Can I ignore you some other time? Good story, but in what chapter do you shut the fuck up? Can you die of constipation? Click on the prompt that catches your fancy, and post your entry in the thread, or submit to all four and quadruple your chances of becoming rich and famous.