The things I master with ease, I could really care less about. Good communication seems to be really hard, even for people of the same neurotype. Instead of instinctively relating to people emotionally, I had to learn what's expected of me using only logic, trial and error as I compare others' reactions. I wish I had known earlier, though. If I were to manage to get them to stop, they would throw me overboard because of my wonderful ability to analyze and slowly pick them to pieces. I began noticing things were quite confusing, but hung in there. Hello Cynthia, Thanks for writing an insightful and logically written blog! When someone talks to me, I can't just sit and look at them, and listen to their conversation.
That would quickly go away when we were not together in person. Righ now I feel very ambivalent about seeking diagnosis. Yesterday I told my sister I felt like a robot going through a social situation without emotion just going through the motion. A great post and so many excellent comments. I thought it was different, but interesting. I am now in my thirties. I finally realised I was an aspie a couple of months ago I'm 30 but am feeling totally overwhelmed by finding a name for something that explains so many questions, many of which I didn't even understand fully how to ask.
It upsets me a lot if my routines are disturbed, especially if it involves doing something spontaneous. I have worked hard at maintaining a professional career over the last 20 years, but have had to keep moving around due to issues that arise around fitting in - never technical skill. He has put on a lot of weight with antisycotic drugs and that is very upsetting. Not to say that he hates my touch, just touch in general. With these people, I have been able to be fully myself, and there was nothing we could not discuss--with most people, however, I have had to moderate my behavior according to the protocols which are most important to them. No wonder we become hermits.
I think your priorities change as you grow older. So we no longer fight ; I understand him since i have a library of aspergers books now and when I am feeling down I pick up a book and re read or go online to sites like this one for affirmation. Can't take pain meds either or I go into shock like a bee stink. So, having a clearly disabled sibling was a bit of a problem. I believe he must bring me down to his level, in order for him to rationalize us being together.
And other than that I am still perceived as reserved, nobody other than my wife and parents even knows this! That is the bit that changes nothing but the bit that changes everything is I now have begun to acquire some ability to repair some of the damage. The one that fits my diagnosis experience is the story told by women who sought out or happened upon a clinician experienced in diagnosing autism in girls and women. Are there doctors that can help people in these relationships? Like you said and others have mentioned the talking about the same things, repeating things over and over. He pretty much begs, entices, and pushes my buttons so he can blow his top. Thank you for the post Chip, and welcome to the conversation! I'm quiet in command of language and can barb crass with cruel Easley. Some who say they are friends can also be treacherous. Billie, reading your comment was like reading something I might have written.
Should I have done something differently? She now gives talks on the importance of facilitated communication and how it has changed her life. He grew up, locked inside his head, unable to communicate with the world around him, desperately wishing he could. I am finding a lot of information and a lot of comfort in your blog. Sorry you and your loved one have found yourselves facing this tsunami of reality. Unfortunately, as I allow more layers of myself to show, he feels threatened.
I mean, if people would get a better understanding of us, then they would at least not think we're being inconsiderate or rude! I have only been diagnosed a few months. It has come to the point where I have to warn people ahead of time before they meet him that he may be offensive. He never appreciated her, always put her down, never helped her with anything and everything was always her fault. Then as I grew older and became a teenager it became more moderate and I still had social anxiety. He has his own way of viewing life and situations. I remain uncertain about these conditions being synonymous. Thank you so much for your site! For a long time, his idea of playing with me was hitting large insects with darts and chasing me around the house with them.
But that is a discussion for another time. When the garage door goes up in the evening, I steel myself against what he will find to criticize. I guess in his mind he has certain reactions he looks for so he will know how another person feels. There are no double standards here. Thanks for this blog post, Dr. His wife comes home to a man who has retreated to isolation as a desperate attempt to find peace and rest.
Here we are celebrating Thanksgiving today and he hasn't called or contacted me in any way. B Animal reproduction studies have failed to demonstrate a risk to the fetus and there are no adequate and well-controlled studies in pregnant women. We're an impulsive bunch, unless they are inattentive and barely say anything. Not a literal place of fire and torment. You say that the relationship was very intense from the beginning and that plus the pregnancy the hormonal changes can be very hard to cope with may have pushed her into a serious case of overload. Don't worry about looking like a fool to other people. Then I moved onto marine biology, mycology, and software engineering.
And especially your writing about Aspie females, of which there is so little out there. It is simply a neurological difference from the rest of society. I hope that this adult clinic will give me answers as I have lost my career income health insurance bankruptcy and friends spouse. When I mention my suspicions, people roll their eyes at me and say all kinds of dismissive things that are, at best, meant to be helpful and, at worst, imply that I'm overdramatizing for the attention. Maybe you will consider writing a book. There is a lack of accepted safety for use under medical supervision. For many years now I've been wondering if I'm Aspie.