Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if he can find the perfect present, again! You are like my dentures. Bigamy is having one wife too many, but monogamy is the same. The best thing about living at the beach is that you only have assholes on three sides of you. Never test the depth of the water with both feet. As usual, we aim for a variety of tales and tall stories - something funny for every mood. She: Do you want me to leave? You cannot buy love, but you can still pay heavily for it.
The rest of you will have to fend for yourselves. Every day, man is making bigger and better fool-proof things, and every day, nature is making bigger and better fools. Puke… and you are on your own. Liquor in the front, poker in the back. The funniest we could possibly find. Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet? Boyfriend: Do you know that exams are like girlfriend? I have a parrot and it talks. It starts working the moment you are born, and never stops until you stand up to speak in public.
Still don't know what to write in their birthday card? The hardest thing to learn in life is which bridge to cross and which to burn. How is Christmas just like any other day at the office? So many stupid people, and so few asteroids. In preparation for a big sneeze you cross your legs really hard and hope for the best! Aldo anything to make you happy. A consensus means that everyone agrees to say collectively what no one believes individually. Didn't go too well after that. What did the rubber band factory worker say when he was fired? History does not repeat itself, historians merely repeat each other. Do you know what the big difference is between love and marriage? Girlfriend: Thanks, but why so, what is special in my teeth? Because those men already have boyfriends.
A: They both run at the first sign of emotion. Sanity and insanity overlap a fine gray line. Please do not leave milk at No. Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new. Children in the dark make accidents, but accidents in the dark make children. Son, are you able to support a family? She: Have you ever cheated on me? Check them out, rate them and share your favorite ones. The woman tells the man to say something to her that will get her heart racing.
They are called husband and wife. She: Will you hit me? So the fairy waved her wand and granted his wish. One liner status All those who believe in psychokinesis raise my hand. Boys and girls like each others, get into love, it is all because of misunderstanding. Bf: What did you get the small medal for? So we stopped playing chess.
Once I dialed and dedicated a crime to my girlfriend. She teased me, saying that she thought tubby bald men were cute! If on an actuarial basis there is a chance that something will go wrong, it will actually go wrong nine times out of ten. What did the sanitary napkin say to the fart? A: They're always coming early. Pills to be taken in twos always come out of the bottle in threes. .
Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection? But some of us are short. And no, it's not different, it's just like every other cat. Boyfriend: Amazing world, only 25% boys have mind, very short figure!! As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in schools. Gf: You always keep silent. He must be handsome, ruthless and stupid.
It matters not whether you win or lose: what matters is whether I win or lose. A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort. I could talk about classic card games all day. Girlfriend: What do you call a female in heaven? A man committed suicide by overdosing on decongestant tablets. Q: What is the difference between a sofa and a boyfriend watching Monday Night Football? Okay then, let's start with Kisses.
The rest kiss their house goodbye when they leave the wife. How do you make your girlfriend scream during sex? I have already got the air for the tires. Anything is easier to take apart than to put together. But it did not say it was hungry, so it died. Anytime I see an autobiography on the shelf I just skip to the about the author section.