He was my world and I would do and have done anything for him and to find that he had been sleeping around has brought me to my lowest point. This is how these cretins wind up. Hope the ladies and gents reading this blog learn this basic lesson before you hit 50-something. How could I be so needy as to fall for him?? He was successful keeping this other lady secret for a long time, which takes planning, skill, and a devious or fragmented mind. Are you in your marriage or not? Realizing in hindsight the manipulation that took place boggles my mind to this day so I really have to make an effort to put it out of my mind. The shock, that someone I had loved could have been so cold and cruel, could have had absolutely no regard or concern for my feelings. Adults who are supposed be equipped with the same capacity to act their age as we are.
I should have known better and I can say only that I was feeling the need and was weak. I think we really liked each other and have had a lot of quirks and troubles that resonated. There are just too many things wrong for the relationship to succeed as described. I have basically kept every written correspondence he has given me. I really did care about this person. Is it really that hard to figure out what the right thing to do is, here? The pool of available men in this age bracket is very small, and of those men 95% seem to think that they are deserving of a 29 year old with a perfect body, or they have enough baggage they need to charter their own plane to Fantasy Island.
Saying and doing what it takes to get you back in their web is the only thing on their mind. Just think of how much more misery being with a person like this would affect your life. Lying and cheating is always heavy stuff. There were certain things, on the surface, that I truly enjoyed about him, his humor, and just having fun together. He even once told me that he broke up with a girl for lying to him…. Best wishes to you, and I do so hope that you find the answers that you seek along with inner peace.
Have you got anything of his of value or gifts he gave you that you can sell to recoup the amount owed? Oh I went to such and such restaurant and did work in fact I went for lunch and dinner. He told me stories of his younger years, how he had cheated and lied in what he was doing, even seemed to be bragging about it because he never got caught. Head went in sand when the flags started waving. I have recently discovered who I thought to be the love of my life is infact the excuse of a man that you describe to a T!! And I wonder what these guys are thinking! She will challenge you to develop your self worth and treat yourself with love, care, trust and respect instead of looking to others, situations, things or substances to give you a false sense of worth. You know this can come to no good end. Yet, I caught him in deception.
Each post is unique yet I find myself in them all. People who love and care about you — do not hurt you, lie to you or cheat on you, let alone let you find out the ugly truth from someone else. It was temporary, because I was tired, mentally physically exhausted and it was late at night when I wrote. He parades thru his life hurting girl after girl, and gets away with it. When I met him online he put me through months of what felt like an endless test, questioning, probing, trying to catch me out in a lie.
We both have raging mummy issues. But, I would hurt if he did. I did she them coming out of the spa together once, so I know what she looks like in real life. I think there has to come a time when you have to focus on your part solely — like the other ladies have done — or you will continue in this cycle forever. Yep, I am super fortunate in many ways. So I too, am on some level using them.
I wanted to be important and on intimate terms with him. But look at it this way: you have now eliminated a flawed person from your life. I will not go back on line to find a man. Nothing has been the same since then. The lies, the deceit,the manipulations, the coercions,I ate and ate until I had a belly full of it and then asked for more too many times. So your therapist is very right. Christian, he paints himself as so very moral and upstanding.
Learning he was a narcissist and boy is he classic was and still is traumatic to me. He says he shows love through sex. If you have empathy for his feelings and if this knowledge would destroy him keep it your dirty little secret to your grave. And then last night I receive multiple phone calls from a girl that he is dating, wanting to know who I was and if he was with me last night. This was just what I needed to be reminded of. I´m sorry if all this sounds blunt and sceptical, others may have a rosier outlook on marriage. Find other stuff to do than think about him.